The Things I Write About

Thursday, 24 March 2016

08:48 -

The Family Series: Unit 5 - The Importance of Family

My last post was about the importance of chastity. This post I will discuss the importance of family.

My family is the most important thing to me: more important than school, work, of even specific hobbies. But why are families so important?

I was taking a child development class for my degree, when I discovered one reason why families are so important. Studies have shown that children who are born in a loving family have better brain development. Being apart of a unit where they are accepted and loved, allows the brain to form neuron connections that allow healthy brain development.

Science aside, families are central to our own plan of happiness. It doesn’t matter what religious belief a person has, most people strive to form families in one form or another.

My family gives me confidence and the opportunity to serve. I feel accepted and encouraged. We support each other in our pursuits. We work together and love each other.

One time, my children were having a particularly bad fight. We had a family meeting to try to rectify the situation. I asked my children who their best friends were. They each mentioned a friend from school. We talked about how they treat their friend compared to how they treat their siblings. We all noticed a sad pattern that they were kinder and more patient to their school friend. I then proceeded to teach my children that their siblings are their most important best friends. No other friends should be more important. I saw a change in their attitude as they understood.

I grew up with three brothers and one sister. At different times in my life, I become close to each of my siblings. My brother Scott would drive me to cadets each week, and even became a volunteer to keep an eye out for me. My brother Tony and I would email back and forth since he lives so far away. Doug and I lived with my brother David when we first got married, and when we were saving up for our first house. We got closer from those experiences. The relationship I had with my sister was a little trickier. We are very different people, and when we were younger we fought A LOT. My sister knew the importance of our family, so she made it clear that we needed to fix our issues. I was very young when we made a promise to each other. To ensure that we would remain in our lives, we promised to be each other’s maid of honor when we got married. A promise we both kept. She even drove me to early morning seminary for a couple of years. Thanks to the example of my childhood family, I was able to teach my own children the importance of family. I hope to see them as adults being apart of each other’s lives. I would like to say thank you to my family for your wonderful example.

08:44 -

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The Family Series: Unit 4 - The Importance of Chastity

My last post talked about temple marriage. This post I will discuss the importance of chastity.

When I was 21, I worked in an office down town Calgary. I was the youngest employee there. But I wasn’t just known for my age, I was also known as something else; the office virgin. I was awkward at that time, being known for my personal choice to wait until I got married. But I knew that I needed to hold onto my conviction and wait (no matter how hard it was at the time).

I was asked many time then why I was waiting? Many people suggested that it was important “sew my wild oats” before deciding to get married. I explained to them the importance to chastity. Here are some of the reasons why chastity is important. The family proclamation states:

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other

The Most Precious Gift.

My virtue was a precious gift that I wanted to give to only one person. I could only give it once, and I didn’t want to give to just anybody. My wedding night was so precious because Doug and I were able to give each other something of each other that we gave to no one else.

Pregnancy

I was also afraid of getting pregnant. Children have the right to be born into a home with both a mother and a father, and I wanted to give my children that gift. It was good that I waited, because shortly after I got married, I got pregnant with Donald. Having him with Doug was worth waiting for. I don’t feel like I missed out of personal gratification by waiting.

A Sacred Covenant

Most importantly to me, I made a sacred covenant to follow the law of chastity, which is to only have sexual relationships with my husband. By following that law (even when temptations were strong) helped me have the spirit and I felt clean.

I understand on a very personal level how hard it can be to follow the law of chastity. Mistakes can be made, and people can easily go too far before the right time. Thankfully, the atonement of Jesus Christ made repentance possible. Those who go to far too soon can become clean again by repenting. I know this to be true, and I encourage all I associate with to live their lives the same way.

08:40 -

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The Family Series: Unit 3 - The Importance of Temple Marriage

In my last post I talked about the importance of gender. This post, I will discuss the importance of temple marriage.

Thirteen years ago Doug and I were married. Our ceremony was small with only a handful of people in attendance. We weren’t married in a church, or outside with beautiful view. We were married in a LDS temple. We both decided many years before that we would get married inside the temple. The questions some of have asked us, is why being married in the temple was so important to us.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I believe that families have to potential to remain together forever. For families to be together forever, they need to be sealed together. Imagine for a moment a freezer bag. To keep the contents inside the opening needs to sealed shut. Once sealed, the bag is secure, leaving the contents safely inside and ready to store. When families are sealed together, they are securely bonded together so that even the powers of death can’t separate them.

The only way to be sealed is to use the proper authority. In our church, we believe that authority to be the priesthood. In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Nephi was given the authority to seal families. It states in Moroni 10:7, “Behold, I give unto you power, that whatsoever ye shall seal on earth shall be sealed in heaven; and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven; and thus shall ye have power among this people.”

Husbands and wives are sealed together in the temple. Since sealing families is so sacred, there needs to be a special place to perform the ceremonies. LDS temples are the only place where families are sealed together through the authority of the priesthood. When husband and wives are sealed together, their children born after such ordinance is automatically sealed to them. The chain continues as each child marries in the temple.

For spouses who were married outside the temple, there is the potential to be sealed together after a year has passed. Children can also be taken with them to seal the whole family together. Recently, I was able to attend the temple to see a dear friend get sealed to their adopted daughter. It was beautiful seeing that wonderful family become tied together forever.

I am grateful for the temple, and for being married there. I know that families can be together forever. I am glad that Doug and I are bonded together forever.

08:29 -

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The Family Series: Unit 2 - The Importance of Gender

Welcome back to my blog, as I continue my study of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”. In the last post, I discussed the importance of difference. This post I am, going to discuss the importance of gender. Once again, I would like to reiterate that in the world today, there are many who believe differently than me. The purpose of my blog isn’t to attack another’s belief, but is instead to add my voice to the discussion in a calm and respectful way. To begin, lets look at what the proclamation states about gender.

The second paragraph in the proclamation is as follows:

“All HUMAN BEINGS – male and female – are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”

Gender is an eternal characteristic. Before I was born, my gender was already determined. My identity as a woman is vital to my personality. My genetic make up is distinctly feminine. That does not make me weak, or inferior to men, but instead makes me distinct. Elder Bednar gave a talk back in 2006 titled “Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan”. He stated, “Gender…in large measures defines who we are, why we are here upon the earth, and what we are to do and become.” Gender is an essential characteristic to ones personality.

Gender isn’t intended to be limiting. Many gender issues that have occurred today, and through out history is the limiting of rights because of ones gender. Men are not superior to women, and women are not superior to men. We are equal in purpose, duty and destiny. That does not mean that we are the same. To continue Elder Bednar’s quote, “For divine purposes, male and female spirits are different, distinct and complementary.” Men and women are meant to be different. It is their differences that compliment each other.

There have been worldly views of women in the LDS Church. There have been those who have viewed the women in the Church as oppressed, and trapped in stereotypical roles. Being a woman, I was never oppressed. Every time I heard a talk from our local or church wide leaders on womanhood, I have noticed a reverence to how women are perceived. Women in the Church are not trapped, but instead encouraged to live up to their divine potential as mothers, wives and queens. During General Conference in October 2013, Elder Christofferson gave a talk titled “The Moral Force of Women”. He begins by discussing how societies have relied on the “moral force of women”. He states, “Women bring with them into the world a certain virtue, a divine gift that makes them adept at instilling such qualities as faith, courage, empathy, and refinement in relationships and in cultures.” Womanhood is respected in the Church.

I am the mother of two boys and one girl. The gender of my children required flexibility in my parenting technique. Raising my boys is a dramatically different experience than raising my daughter. That is because o their distinct personalities. I am not saying that my boys only played with cars, and my daughter only played with dolls. Anyone who knows my family knows how untrue that statement would be. But I do mean that their personalities required distinct parenting techniques. Their gender was a factor to how I parented them. My boys would respond to a specific style, while for my daughter that specific style would be less effective.

To conclude I would like to quote once again from the proclamation. Gender is an essential personal characteristic. “All human beings – male and female – are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” I am a daughter of God, and I was created in his image. I take great joy in my role as a woman, wife and mother. I am happy to be who I am.

Friday, 26 February 2016

09:49 -

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The Family Series: Unit 1 - The Importance of Differences

My Wonderful Family

This semester, I have the opportunity to study “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”. As part of the class I am required to do a capstone project, where I get to serve and protect the family unit. I decided to complete my project on my blog, so that my family can truly know the love I feel for them. I have a deep love for my family, which includes those in my extended and my husband’s extended family. I am pleased to take part in a project to express my love and gratitude to my family.

The first paragraph in the proclamation is as follows:

“WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

First I would like to state, that those who believe differently than I do in how families are organized, I love you and respect your perspective. We may not believe the same things, but that in no way means that I disrespect or judge you in any way. I truly believe that even though core beliefs can be drastically different, we as a people move forward with compassion and understanding.

I do believe that marriage is to be employed between a man and woman. This is because the optimum setting for child rearing is in a home where parents who share differences work together for the benefit of their children. In 1995 while addressing the students at BYU President Henry B Eyring stated, “A little child would feel safe hearing the words that marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God. The child would know that the longing to have the love of both a father and a mother, distinct but somehow perfectly complimentary, exists because that is the eternal pattern, the pattern of happiness. The child would also feel safer knowing that God would help mother and father resolve differences and love each other, if only they ask for his help and try.

My parents who showed me how marriage can work, especially with the help of the Lord.

For those who know us can see how different Doug and I really are. Doug is a spirit of the law kind of man, while I am a letter of the law woman. When we first got married, I was concerned by the differences we have. I wondered how could we work together? As we started having children, I got to see how our different perspectives benefit our children. Our differences compliment each other. In many instances, one of us will think of a solution to a problem that the other couldn’t think of. We haven’t always worked harmoniously, but because we both make the effort I think we do okay.

Even science holds to the truth that “opposites attract”. In chemistry, positively charged ions are attracted to negatively charged ions. When the negative ions bond with the positive ions, a strong bond is formed. It takes a significant amount of energy to break such bonds. If two people with significant differences bond together, it will be harder for things to break them apart.

I love the differences that Doug and I have. They can be fun too. One of my favorite date night games is “The Celestial Companions Game”. It is an LDS version of the newlywed game. Couples are asked question to see if their answers can be the same. Doug and I almost always loose that game. Not because we don’t know each other, but because we might not always understand what the other one is thinking. It is fun sharing our different answers, and get a little closer to better understanding of each other. It is fun being different. As our lives continue, I look forward to seeing the other differences we have as we progress through life together. We will face the challenges of the world hand in hand, side by side, but also with our own unique perspective.

Doug and I share good times.