The Things I Write About

Language - From Belittling to Uplifting 

Vulgar words chase away the Holy Ghost. Someone could normally speak well, but in the heat of a frustrating moment, lose control and vulgarity comes out. In such times the spirit flees faster than it takes for such words to connect with another’s brain. A good environment changes quickly to a place lacking the Holy Ghost. A fun party can easily turn into a contentious gathering. Allowing oneself to give into vulgar language in a time of anger diminishes a person’s self mastery. Instead of losing control, a person can be masters of themselves and their thoughts and only allow good things come out of their mouths. In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul stated “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:49). So instead of blaming circumstance, someone who is in control of their language and their thoughts has the Holy Ghost with them, and they are able to be true masters of themselves.

Vulgar language is not the only way to have “corrupt language”. Sarcasm can be just as damaging to relationships as vulgarity is. President Gordon B Hinckley (1920 -2008) stated “Everywhere is heard the snide remark, the sarcastic gibe, the cutting down of associates. Sadly these are too often the essence of our conversation. In our homes, wives weep and children finally give up under the barrage of criticism.” Instead up lifting up each other, those who participate in sarcasm tear down and belittle. In the August 2013 Ensign there is an article written by Jennifer Grace Jones. She describes her experiences with new friends after college. Jennifer states “months of interactions in which humor came at the expense of someone’s feelings - including mine - left my heart heavy. I yearned for friends who would encourage me instead of make fun of my shortcomings.” She continues to share her experiences of visiting her old college friends. Her college friends were not sarcastic and Jennifer remembers “Their kindness soothed like a balm, and I resolved to become a better friend, especially when it came to uplifting others with my conversation.” By avoiding sarcasm, a person can be a better more uplifting friend, spouse or parent.

Avoiding sarcasm is not the only way to have better communication. If a person can learn to avoid yelling, that person’s ability to be more caring and compassionate increases. A parent who loses their temper on a child in frustration causes that child to shut down and develop low self esteem. Yelling chases away the spirit just as fast a vulgarity does. How can a parent do their job without the guidance of the Holy Ghost. A child is more receptive to correction, when that correction comes with a soft tone from a loving parent. The strength of youth pamphlet states “speak kindly and positively about others… Avoid speaking in anger. When you are tempted to say harsh or hurtful things, leave them unsaid.” Even though the strength of youth pamphlet is targeted to youth, the teachings can be applied to all generations. If a parent would “avoid speaking in anger” and instead relied on guidance from the Holy Ghost, the correction needed will be better received from the child. Human interactions will be more edified and uplifting if everyone would avoid speaking in anger.

Mankinds ability to communicate with others is a gift from God. A gift that should be used to uplift and edify others. Not used to degrade and belittle. To misuse the gift of communication by using vulgar words, sarcasm and speaking in anger, is to chase away the Holy Ghost. Thanks to the atonement of Jesus Christ, any person who desires to change how they communicate can change. By being masters of oneself, only speaking kindly towards others, and avoid speaking in anger a person will change their communication from belittling to uplifting.